Feb 23, 2010
Ten-Word Tuesday. I Am Mummy Dot Com
Bossy doesn’t have a whole lot to say about this photo, except You are looking at two molten rocks of hot lava wrapped in sebenty-eleben pounds of surgical gauze and Ace bandages that stay in place for two days. Questions?
Bossy can describe her vascular surgery and postoperative experience in this way: Dear Vascular Surgeon, the dog ate my painkillers. Send more.
Which is what today’s Ten-Word Challenge is all about. In exactly ten words, can you tell Bossy and her council about an instance you were in pain? Oh come on, no one will mind if you let ‘er rip.
And be sure to check back later today for the ouchiest comments on the web. If you’re not reading what others have written, you’re missing a great lesson in creative brevity.
If you missed last week’s Ten-Word Challenge, don’t! Click here to read a succinct description of what Bossy’s council has been up to.
so, wait, how do you stand up???
I bet peeing is a joy. I have one lone pain pill that I saved from my wisdom tooth extraction last year… let me know if you need it.
ATV accident forces nurse to scrub cinders out of wounds.
Childbirth. And then another childbirth. Rested seven years in between.
first baby, 36-hour labor, 10+lbs, refused epidural…what a dumbass
Vascular surgery ten years ago. Mummified back then too. Oy.
Fell off back step thinking neighbor was OJ-like. Ankle, crutches.
Tonsillectomy when too old to have one. Everything tastes citrusy.
Tripped down stairs. Heard ankle break. Oh so much ouch.
Sharp, pointy Longhorn Steer trounced soft, fleshy cowgirl and horse.
Mom got wood plank in foot. Bossy felt sympathy pain.
(shiver)
Chaps don’t stop rattlesnake fangs. Cowgirl lives in city now.
First baby, 36 hour labor, 10lbs, unmedicated forceps delivery – OUCH!
Back Surgery 8 weeks after c-section. Really tough time. Ouch.
slipped on steps and filleted my shin – worse than labor!
save those wraps ~ what an awsome Halloween costume! :0) badly done internal stiches “ouch”
Threw back out. Took four hours to get to couch.
Childbirth, times four. Oh, wait. Thank you, whoever invented epidurals.
Major foot surgery. 2006. 3 months in cast. HATE SHOES!
Ruptured disc. 5 week old infant. 5 weeks in bed.
Fell 10 feet face first…gravel imbedded in face…concussion.
45 hours delivering first and Only child. Enough said.
Car wreck, broken neck, six months in a halo brace.
piercing, burning, blistery, scabby numbness, no sleep, no clothes, SHINGLES.
Three C-sections, first was the worst.Third time turned pro.
This morning, I cut my thumb open slicing a bagel.
Ten years of miserable, nagging pain. But, I’m still alive!
My pain threshhold is high. I don’t know why. Lucky.
Carjacked. Stabbed in abdomen. Q-tip used to determine wound depth.
Bouncing down stairs on tailbone, protecting infant son in arms.
Joining the childbirth chorus. Officially done with that chapter.
(By the way, at least your toes look good)
Dislocated hip. Broken nose. Simultaneous cramps both calves. You pick.
Ectopic pregnancy burst; cut from navel South.
Solution – MORPHINE – by needle IM.
Ahhhhhhhhh – I felt better.
Ectopic pregnancy burst; cut from navel South.
Solution, MORPHINE, IM.
Sorry, I don’t take direction well.
He moved like this; I like that; ouch, my back!
Discovered the Cheating Cheater was cheating, cheatfully. (wrong kinda pain?)
Ejected through passenger door window. Head injury. Nothing helped pain.
Hit in face by high pressure hose. Stitches, hurt pride.
(I could write 20 of these — I am the most accident-prone person on the planet!)
Part I
C-secs aren’t supposed to be painful. Darn tootin’ they are.
Part II
“You’ll feel a slight pulling sensation.”
“PUT MY UTERUS BACK!!!”
Morphine doesn’t really help if foot is perpendicular to leg.
My head hurts. My head hurts. Oh Toomah, forgot that!
Jaw surgery. Broken in 5 places. Liquid Diet 2 months.
Hysterectomy. Not enough morphine. They used a mixmaster, I swear.
Ten years of infertility unforgettable, even after accidental — miraculous! — pregnancy.
Lymphangiogram: a diagnostic test for non-Hodgkins lymphoma. Click here: http://bit.ly/bet3hd
34 hours labor, c-section, anesthesia DIDN’T WORK! Still have nightmares…
Wisdom-tooth infection, apparently not unlike being very precisely shot.
39 shots in upper arm to determine lack of allergies.
Pain for me is every single moment of my life.
Feeling ashamed -knee pain nothing compared to what I’ve read.
Gave birth 3 months ago without epidural. Not too bad, actually! Ready to do it again.
Lower back pain=no sex, need help putting on socks and underwear. Bossy, you are so sexy and brave. I’ll get the meds and wine.
Broken knee, 5 ligament tears, blood clot and shots daily.
“Some women just have random pelvic pain.” Thanks much, doctor.
Feels like to answer would be to jinx it and bring on greater pain.
Fu*ketty fu*k chipped a nail AND slipped in shower ouch
Walked too close under electric fence on farm when young.
20 p nail protruding from bottom of 50 lb box of nails rammed through left hand while unloading boxcar of boxes of nail
Kidney stones. That is all.
Hysterectomy with 12-inch incision and searing hot flashes as bonus.
Was feeling okay.
Read these comments:
Have to go puke.
Sat on couch, got up, felt pain, oh my Gah!!!
Yesterday morning; slammed hand in car door. Holy blinding pain!
I labored at home for 3 days with first child only to have her hand come out first (she was butt first) so we went to hospital for c-section only she was so far engaged in the vaginal canal they couldn’t get her out that way either. The table lifted 4 feet into the air with them yanking her out. By then I had painkillers though.
Shattered elbow, surgery, 10 inch incision, pain meds didn’t work.
Kindergarten … tongue to metal door in winter at department store.
Is it just the lighting or are the toenails on your left foot a different color than the ones on the right?
Ten word challenge? I got nothing.
Slipped, hit brass light fixture15 STAPLES in head…….PAIN!…………….
(blood like you wouldn’t believe)………
boating accident – hubby quadriplegic – me caregiver – we do our best.
Oh ouch. Would cookies help make the time pass?
I had a baby. And took no drugs. Enough said.
#70 — so sorry.
Kidney stone, C-section, back labor, tree bouncing off head = insignificant.
Oh. My. God. You poor thing!
Challenge:
child labor, 75 hours, pitocin drip, c-section,
Mastectomy drain twisted while I slept – unrelenting irritation under skin.
No pain like the pain from reading these comments. Ack.
burst tubal pregnancy. times 2. Oops wrong side =times 3.
Trying to stand up for the first time after c-section.
third c-section, sutures pinched a nerve, even percocet couldn’t help
4 wisdom teeth pulled at once. sans painkillers, because breastfeeding. d’oh!
Poor Bossy! Sending healing vibes. Oh, and here’s my ten-word tale:
Chiropractic gave me chronic case of vertigo. Don’t try it.
pilonidal cyst – can’t sit, stand or lie down. Definition PITA!!
Migraines. I wish the dog would eat my head, dammit.
Too lazy for water. Un-chewed Tums burned hole in esophagous!
lesson learned.
month long gallbladder attack during sixth month of pregnancy
Childhood dentist didn’t use novocaine on children. Ow. Ow. OW!
And I forgot to say, I had LOTS of cavities.
C-Section, two days of childbirth, loss of 5 pints blood.
Birthing 3 babies without pain meds. Fourth due any day= epidural.
Can I get one now and one to go?
migraines.
drug-free childbirth.
i’ll take labor, please and thank you.
Epidurals, not babies….
Unfortunately, I got nothin’. I tend to forget my pain.
Only pain is pain I caused myself, no sympathy deserved
P.S. Feeling sympathy pain for Bossy and her commenters
flat feet. achilles severed, foot bones broken and rearranged. arches.
broken foot bone connected toes. foot growth stops at 13.
Tib/Fib break in my right leg. OUCH!
Reason #3 Cowgirl lives in the city these days (see #10 and #12 for others):
Shoulder pierced by shotgun pellets. Thanks, drunken ranch owner boss!
Brain tumor, numerous hospitalizations,chemoside effects incontinent diarrheanausea,spinal taps 21 days in a row to relieve pressure on the brain done by residents with shakey hands and bad nerves, paralysis x 3 occasions that resolved on it’s own,baldness,mouth sores then shingles,3 years of wanting to die and doing better now-human constitution is aweinspiring-constantly amazed at the many types of pain and how we deal with it
Woke up during open-heart surgery. Really. Don’t need 10 words.
reading these makes me want to puke and pass out.
Fell down wooden steps. Huge hematoma on ass. Surgery tomorrow!
External version – two doctors yanking on stomach to flip baby.
It was unsuccessful and I needed to have a c-section.
Birth pain, MS pain, big whoop compare to others pains!
Fell 12 feet thru attic floor. Lemon-sized bump on head.
Ruptured disk in lower back. Pain like I’ve never felt.
Doesn’t seem so bad after reading all of this. Must bookmark this page to come back to next time I’m feeling sorry for myself about something trivial. God bless all of you that are still suffering.
broke my funny bone
made my c-section pale by comparison
4 arthroscopies then 2 knee replacements. not for sissies. amen.
No drugs during five deliveries but afterward needed strong pills.
(Five deliveries but six kids–wanted to clarify that.)
Wearing wedgies get in big truck fell backwards stabbing pain
Weird. Just wrote about this. Burnt hand with flaming photograph.
http://controllingaspicyuniverse.blogspot.com/2010/02/i-have-few-minutes-so-here-is-my.html
Too painful to look at poor Bossy. Get well soon.
#108…where’d the extra kid come from? If I gave birth to five children and wound up with six. I’d want to know WTF!
Makes my rheumatoid arthritis and tendonitis in my foot not a big deal.
Bossy, reckon this will make you feel a whole lot better? Sure made me think the rheumatoid arthritis and tendonitis in my foot for 30+ years is not a big deal…at all.
#s 58 and 65 are OMG winners . Well, 58 was just a nut, but oh my poor #65.
I’m really wanting to know about #107 since I may have to walk that road soon. ewww
Get better soon. Will you have two of the big black wraps when you get out of the hospital? That should be a blast to put on to go party. yepper.
Fell down 13 steps then the door stopped my fall.
Softball wiffle ball drill breaks elbow when bat hits arm.
Cracked rib; possible pneumothorax. Dilaudid and Robaxin caused heart stoppage.
Kidney stone. Thank you dear docs for the demerol tablets.
(note: they couldn’t give me dilaudid; see prior 10 word note by ballroompics)
Newport pier; friend dived head into three feet of water.
Damn those ticks. Erhlichiosis puts you in a bad place.
Oh, Bossy, so sorry to hear. Glad it was a success but ow.
After reading #99 who woke up during heart surgery I want to just leave the race. But pain is pain.
After appendectomy, puked percoset. Had only tylenol for comfort.
Turned off epidural to stave off c-section. Baby was 10-10.
Childbirth. Twins. Vaginally. 3 epidurals failed. Pain so intense I was hallucinating. But got two healthy babies, so the trade-off was great.
Hope you’re feeling better soon. And that they hurry up with the happy pills for you!
Poor, poor Bossy!
Postponed road trip?
I feel your pain.
Four impacted wisdom teeth. Two nights in hospital.
Kidney stone attack while having contractions. Lots of Demerol. Ouch.
Picked up kid. Back went PWANG! Years later, Vicodin daily.
(does “GAH!” count as a word, or can we just take it as a wordless scream of sheerest frustration…?)
(wait…does all of THAT count as words? because they aren’t WORDS, they’re ASIDES. That’s different from words. Right? Right. Carry on.)
No drugs during delivery. Got peaceful baby. Was worth it!
Obstructed tear duct. Post-surgical saline injections to keep duct open. GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Oh, and…
Age 17: Walked through sand-covered campfire after bluegrass festival. Third-degree burns on bare foot. Had to postpone college. GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Awwww… i hope all is okay and you make a speedy recovery… you should hire a free chaueffer (?) to do your book trip…heehe… hope you get well soon jeff and i send our love!
All four wisdom teeth impacted on Christmas morning; kill me.
Pushed giant-headed baby four hours. Husband stood on IV.
Slam Weiner in car door, thats all I can say.
Some of these accidents posted are brutal!!!!!!!!!!!!!
As if having the doc shave my balls wasn’t enough …
Great Dane collides with knee. Three. Complete. Knee. Reconstructions. Many tears.
kneecap to metatarsals of right foot fractured, Gimme Morphine!!!!
Feel better, Bossy! This looks painful. (I’m a slacker with 10 word Tuesday, I know).
broken heart… once or twice… no..no…. three major times…
Broken jaw, liquid for 6 weeks, would rather give birth.
ruptured disk C6-C7 neck… on vacation in NYC… morphine
Abcesses – inner ear or bad root canal – not same time!
When a branch impaled my head and I needed staples…
feel better soon!
Squeezing a watermelon through a peehole was not exactly pleasant.
The first epidural didn’t take, so they gave me another.
I wanted to give the doctor an epidural, via peehole.
Please feel better soon, where soon equals nubaine or morphine.
I passed a kidney stone that looked like a cockleburr.
Forced out of bed after triplets born via emergency c-section.
(External cut from hip to hip, internally? Uterus sliced from top to bottom. When that nurse told me the catheter was coming out & I had to get up to pee, I would have punched her if I could have moved.)
((Feel better))
Ectopic pregnancy, surgery, also pregnant with twins, no pain meds
oh my goodness people, now I have to try to sleep…
my baby girl bossy…feel better.
Inner ear viris. balance gone. 15 years and counting…sick.
Kstones, thrice. Iodine IV? Like being microwaved from inside out.
Post kids periods from hell. How’d I spell relief?
H-y-s-t-e-r-e-c-t-o-m-y!!
Also: get well soon Bossy, but ixnay on the ancing-day.
Tummy tuck, cried, wondered what the EFFF I was thinking
Holy mother of god: cramps so bad, butt fell off.
Hangnail infected. Felt like molten lava under fingernail. Nearly vomited.
Try this: 106 fever, double pneumonia. Every breath = stabbing. Unfun.
Cut through muscle and nerve in finger. Six gory stitches.
sled. snow. rock through sled, up butt crack…slam! tailbone.
Rectal biopsy causes intense pain and finds stage two cancer.
3hrs after Csection decide must visit kid in NICU.Yikes!!!
Childbirth, back labor, 10 plus hours of barfing times 2!
(PS – Hope Bossy feels better quickly!)
emergency appendectomy 2 days after separation from husband.
Back Labor – 15 hours, pushing – 2 hours, stitches down there!
broken nose from random act of violence, emotional & physical.
(also second broken nose to fix first = unfun but had meds)
Pancreatitis made childbirth pale – did not even get a souvenir.
5:00am. Tripped in neighbor’s yard. Ankle sprained. Embarrassing AND painful!
Breast ReDuCtiOn surgery horrible…BUT…not as bad as having the 2 drain tubes YANKED out .. boy am i a perky mama!
)OO(
coastal nest hopes Bossy gets better!!!!!
Lower back pain, figured out how to have painless .
(Christina/53, email me. I’ll give you tips.)
Bossy, hope these horror stories encourage/entertain you. Wowza. I’m stunned!
Pre-lumpectomy dye injected deep into nipples without anaesthesia. Very. Painful.
Childbirth. Legs went numb with every contraction. Lovely baby though!
Um, how can I possibly follow Martha above me? Now I’ll be thinking of that in the dark, thanks.
(Back spasms after carrying toddler on hip too long. Weak.)
#123 -
Thought kidney stone OR 39 hour labor – but BOTH?? ACK!
Doc with hand in my womb turning twin b manually.
Get better!
Ectopic for me. Bossy, please follow orders and rest(escape).
Thursday – pregnant, migraine, in the ER, ” *please* call my name…”
left-handed.
2nd degree burns on left palm, hosting party days away…
Feel better Bossy!
Meningitis. Brain swollen. Owie.
Tonsillectomy at 42 way worse than 3 deliveries combined
Infected incision from laproscopic surgery ~ internal packing needed OUCH!!
Kidney donation surgery pain intense. Heart sings with joy and morphine!
Broke my foot while eight months pregnant with #2 son.
So big I was zoned as a condo—no lie!
Labor with no meds Tues-Fri. Baby stuck. C-section. 11lb12oz. Yay.
Broke ankle while house hunting.
Real estate agent called 911.
Car accident, broken sternum, lay down on xray table. What?
Broken sternum means hold your nose so you don’t sneeze.
When my doctor was sewing up my episiotomy + tear that went well past my perineum and up the middle of my back, he said “A cesarean would have been easier to stitch up than this.”
As if HE was the one inconvenienced by the aforementioned tear.
My pain wasn’t as bad as his after I kicked him in the balls, though.
Yeouch, @Squaregirl!
Where was I?
Oh, yes.
Fourth grade, was chased up jungle gym, fell, saw stars.
Spinal fusion and ten months in body cast.
2007: Seven root canals, twelve months of Vicodin.
Feel better soon, Bossy!
Oxo peeler excises little fingernail. Bled like a b—h!!!
Oh! Way late, but I couldn’t resist this.
Neck Abscess. I wanted to die. Sadly, not allowed.