Jun 22, 2010
Ten-Word Tuesday: The Personals Edition
Once upon a time, before online dating clubs, there lived personal ads in the back of newspapers. Yesterday Bossy decided to peruse this section of her hometown newspaper, where 100% females and Russian Delights are available by appointment for nine-inches of pipe and your every foot fetish.
Here are a few highlights, where highlights equal how low can you go:
Which is nothing compared to the always irresistible:
This got Bossy thinking about personal ads in general. Many years ago, Bossy and her mom thought it was a terrific exercise to write your own personal ad — even if you’re not looking for a mate — because when hypothetically looking for someone or something, it forces you to encapsulate who you are.
Each word matters and each reference helps paint the picture of you.
If Bossy remembers correctly, Bossy’s mom crafted a personal ad in which she was looking for someone with the combined qualities and traits of Quincy Jones and Shelby Foote — while Bossy, who was made lonely living far from family and this had just happened, was seeking the cast of Thirtysomething to befriend.
If Bossy were to write a personal ad now, it might go a little like this: Blogger seeks council to leave distracting comments in the hundreds.
Which is what today’s Ten-Word Challenge is all about. In exactly ten words, can you write your own personal ad for who or what you are looking for?
And be sure to check back later today for the best personal ads on the web!
If you missed last week’s Ten-Word Challenge, don’t! Just click here to read over 100 recommendations of where and what to eat locally according to Bossy’s esteemed council around the globe.
Looking for an airy rustic studio, to write. Or nap.
ISO large beach front property with all white interior
Seeking plane ticket to anywhere where nothing happens. Views, please.
Looking for a boat to sail around the world in.
Seeking someone to untangle knots. Mostly those inside Bossy’s head.
ISO quiet. Must be noise/smell/mess/obligation free.
Redhead by choice seeks humorous partner who can keep up.
wanted: clear passage of oxygen through left nostril. ahhh-choo!
Wanted: Sister who doesn’t want to live in TX while I live in CT.
–>ISO wealthy philathropher to support MY family, no strings attached.
http://www.WebSavvyMom.com
iso retirement, rural riverfront property and winning lottery ticket.
ISO maid to do laundry, cook, clean, fix drywall holes
Spit up covered mom, you willing to change shitty diapers.
Crackerjack employee seeks new employment, challenges and mostly new boss.
Me: Slim. You: swimsuit that doesn’t look like parachute pants.
Seeking access to large Swiss back account to spend carelessly!
ISO of raison d’etre. Old one shabby. Please send photos.
ISO one winning lotto ticket; want to retire and craft.
ISO tall, dark, handsome and well (endowed), for string-less attachment.
ISO magic wand in working order. Serious inquiries only, please.
ISO of solution for depression aimless living anxiety and panic
no no..second wish..
ISO my real true personailty. If found, enjoy and return.
Lost: mind. Slightly warped, sometimes dirty. Hardly used, but missed.
ISO Gulf beach with no oil worries. Heartbreakingly futile wish.
I did not submit that last ad, but could have.
Wanted: Bungalow at beach, will fill with laughter and wine.
hot, bothered mama ISO someone to deliver coffee and chocolate.
ISO band of kindly gypsies to borrow children for awhile.
Couple with four children seeks wife to cook and clean.
ISO different coworker, quiet voiced or altogether mute, good food.
Thought about part-time, then leave of absence, now to quit?
iso,far flung correspondent, but we enjoyed him while here
ISO combined qualities of Quincy Jones, Shelby Foote and Doc. Kovorkian.
oh my, new info. coming back soon. don’t need ad!
In search of…oh hell, you know who you are.
Man with acne looking for love with a hot dermatologist
As long as you’re hot inside–and sane–I’m yours.
College hustler seeks benefactor to pay for odd jobs, food
Ad writing is harder than it looks at first glance!
ISO man who will adore me… Me? can do my thing while you housekeep etc.
PS Good in bed a +
Hmmm Doug? I ‘m here,,,, do you housekeep?
Harried babe seeks 1 hour of peace from outside world.
iso relief from stressful world, oh wait, where’s the wine?
maybe you should just go away and let me sleep.
New mom seeks other moms for walks and scintillating conversation.
Desperately seeking repository for 40 extra pounds: serious inquiries only.
[But I like #29 and #36 better]
GreatAunt said it best, new boss, no grumps allowed.
Winning lotto ticket would make it all better
Someone to clean my house the way I do–for free!
husband and son go on family outing, Alone
Is that graphic your hometown paper? If so, we’re neighbors!
DWF seeks . . . . oh bloody hell, this is way too difficult
Seeking sunny days, cool nights, sandy beaches to ride on
Wanted: money for fixing of theft sensory in 2003 Malibu
ISO household staff of three, chauffeur, housekeeper and gardener.Soon!.
WANTED:housekeeper bone idle couple in dire need of help
MWF looking for man whisperer” put seat down,down,down”
seamstress needed. seams are bursting and I’m screaming . challenging work.
ISO BIG winning lotto ticket – I will even buy it.
ISO a comfy chair next to the blue on the map.
ISO last first date, personality, good looks, hello baby daddy!!!!
Longing for laughter and intelligent banter and lots of space.
Best.Indian.Food.Ever. Hema’s Kitchen off Devon in Chicago. Love it. Even my Indian American mother in law loves it.
Whoops. Somehow my answer for last week’s 10 word Tuesday ended up here. Sorry!
15 y.o.s. and I ISO season 2 of Lost–right now at 1:51 am!!!