Jan 25, 2011

Ten-Word Tuesday: The Exercise Edition

Bossy grew up on the 19th floor of a high rise and has never been very sporty. Bossy’s schools were always large public institutions in the middle of the city with very uninspired gym curriculums.

public-school-cafeteria

In fact, Bossy never exercised at all until she got a boyfriend much older than herself, and this boyfriend told Bossy all about this new craze called jogging.

jogging

So Bossy purchased jogging shoes while her boyfriend purchased jogging shoes and jogging clothes and a Casio stopwatch and a portable radio and odor-absorbing socks and wristbands and a sweatband and a blender for the smoothies after the jog.

old-fashioned-jogger

And Bossy enjoyed this craze called jogging, except for the jogging part. It was soon after this Bossy stumbled upon a body-shaping book by a woman named Callan Pinckney. And Callan Pinckney named her body-shaping book Callanetics.

The idea behind Callanetics was to repeat small concise movements which generated strength of the large muscle masses.

stomach-callanetics

callanetics2

callanetics3

And Bossy enjoyed the Callanetics body-shaping exercises, minus the exercises. Fast forward a few years and Bossy purchased one of the early stair stepping machines:

stairs

And Bossy loved her stair stepping machine, minus the part where you step on stairs.

In fact, with the exception of a few encounters with that very famous Core Ball training method that utilizes chocolate bars and martini glasses, Bossy has consistently ditched all modes of exercise in order to return to jogging.

running

And Bossy jogs consistently. Last year Bossy even featured a jogging tutorial right here in these pages that aren’t pages, special thanks to her British jogging teacher with the lump in his trousers.

But the fact is, jogging isn’t enough for Bossy anymore. Areas of her body are not as strong or as tone as they could be, where areas of her body equals yeah pretty much the whole darn thing.

So Bossy has been researching alternate exercise routines before investing in something. Bossy doesn’t require a lot from potential exercise routines, only that they not take up too much room or take up too much time or take up too much money.

This is how Bossy became enamored with her:

tracy-anderson

She’s Tracy Anderson, fitness guru for the likes of Gwyneth Paltrow and Madonna even though Tracy and Madonna had a falling out and by the way, Madonna, maybe it has to do with your crazy arms. The thing Bossy likes about Tracy Anderson’s methods, is they require nothing but a floor mat and the desire to move parts of your body you never knew moved.

Tracy Anderson believes in alternating exercises so you don’t bulk up, and she believes in simplicity of form, for instance she thinks there’s no better way to work out the arms then to, and this is radical thinking, move the arms.

tracy-anderson-method

And Tracy Anderson has developed special workout routines for those lacking space, for instance if one of her clients happens to be a gorgeous movie actress on the set of Iron Man who is staying in a California suite and has nothing but a hotel chair to act as leg lift support. Just as a random example.

tracy-anderson-hotel-room-exercise

Bossy can sum up her feelings about a potential new exercise regime in this way: Please just why can’t the stomach firm by watching Bravo?

Which is what today’s Ten-Word Challenge is all about. In exactly ten words, can you tell Bossy about an exercise regime you find effective, or share a complaining story about an exercise routine from your past, or, you know, just anything exercise related. Or, tell Bossy about how you don’t exercise. Just, like, hi readers!

And here’s a link to that cute Tracy Anderson’s arm routine. Bossy has asked her daughter to learn this arm sequence so she can teach it to Bossy. Bossy will then pass this information to her council, of course, if you’re interested.

savvysource.com


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