Feb 15, 2011
Ten-Word Tuesday: The Scared Silly Edition
Who remembers the children’s book, If You Give A Moose A Muffin? It’s the story of a hungry moose who, once given a muffin, wants jam, and then more muffins, which requires a trip to the store for more muffin mix, but first the moose needs to borrow a sweater and socks, but not before he makes sock puppets, and then paints the scenery for the sock puppet play, which makes him so hungry he wants another, anyone?
Well, Bossy wants to write her own children’s book. It would be called, If You Pop A Whitehead Pimple. And Bossy is an expert in this arena, having been scared silly against this activity by Bossy’s dad very early in Bossy’s childhood.
You see, if you pop a whitehead pimple, it will pop:
But if you pop a whitehead pimple, the whitehead pimple will also pop below the skin:
And when the whitehead pimple pops below the skin, the pimple bacteria will release into the surrounding membranes:
And when the pimple bacteria releases into the surrounding membranes, it will clog adjacent pores:
And when the pimple bacteria clogs adjacent pores, it will result in more pimples:
And when the pimple bacteria releases into surrounding tissue within proximity to the brow, it can be carried directly to the brain through a capillary:
And when the dangerous pimple bacteria is carried directly to the brain through a capillary, it can cause a brain abscess:
And when dangerous bacteria causes a brain abscess, the brain swells:
And when the brain abscess causes the brain to swell, you’ll need to be hospitalized:
And when you’re hospitalized, you’ll probably need stuff like an oxygen mask:
And if you have to wear an oxygen mask, you’re going to get lots of pimples:
The End!
Bossy can sum up her fear of popping pimples in this way: Sister mercy just pass the hot washcloth and be done.
Which is what today’s Ten-Word Challenge is all about. In exactly ten words, can you tell Bossy about something you heard as a child that forever scared you away from the activity?
And be sure to check back later today for the best fears on the Internet.
If you missed last week’s Ten-Word Challenge, it was probably better than this one. In fact, it was all about best birthday memories, in ten words. Click here to check it out!
–>Not swimming til 30 minutes after eating. Didn’t die. Yet.
Eating sugar causes worms. Now I have sweets every day!
Scarred forever by Bossy’s pimple popping story. Confirmed by Google.
If you bite nails a hand grows in your stomach.
Not walking on sewer grates on the sidewalk. Might fall in.
Say “Bloody Mary ” three times in the mirror…..rut ro
Big sharks can come out of swimming pool drains, right?
Will not chew gum — it will rot my stomach lining
Will not drink soda either — it will dissolve my teeth
–>If you swallow gum, it will stay in your stomach ForEvEr.
Swallowed gum will stay in your intestines for seven years.
My dad told me the exact same thing about popping pimples! Not as technically, but told me the bacteria would kill me. So, 10 words: Popping pimples is deadly, thanks Dad and Bossy’s Dad.
Bossy’s friend thought contact lenses could lodge behind the cheeks.
If you cross your eyes, they’ll stay that way!
Once you shave leg hair IT WILL COME BACK WORSE.
BUT—could you really resist popping the little buggers?
Don’t make rude face, your face could freeze that way.
Don’t roll your eyes when unhappy, they could get stuck.
(as she says rolling her eyes all the time now…)
Swallow watermelon seed? Grow plant in stomach. Ouch.
Break a thermometer in the house, we have to evacuate.
Don’t hold in a sneeze.You will pop your eardrums.
My dad (MD) said EXACTLY that. Only not so interesting.
“Don’t cut off your nose to spite your face…”
Tell your dreams before breakfast and bad luck will follow.
If you stare at the sun; you will go blind!
“If you have sex, you will go to hell. Forever.”
If you do drugs, your brain comes out your nose.
That doesn’t make any sense in 10 words, but my dad told me that he knew a guy who got hooked on drugs after coming home from Vietnam. The guy went to the doctor and the doctor had him blow his nose. Then he pointed at what emerged into the tissue and said, “see that? That’s your brain.”
Trying to post this, for the third time… sigh…
Your toe pads are full of poison trying to escape.
Okay, so it’s not a cause and effect thing, but a kid told me this and I worried for an entire summer, constantly examining the pads of my toes, wondering how much body poison was trying to get out and would it kill me before I managed to turn seven! Nasty, nasty children.
Don’t take Communion without having gone to confession; you’ll die.
Dr. Oz says don’t pop pimple in ‘Triangle of Death’!!!!
if you don’t clean b/w your toes, they’ll fuse to one another..
Thank you to my girlfriend’s father… I think of him everyday when I do the above activity !
step on a crack, break your mother’s back
Dont hold in poop or your eyes will turn brown
If you eat that chocolate, it’ll get on your insides.
My great-great uncle died of popping a pimple on his nose!
cry and your face stays that way for all time
bitten finger nails collect in your appendix then it explodes
wearing sneakers during lightening will keep you from being struck
we lived next to a cemetery:
sister said dead Indian babies in my underwear drawer
If you eat snow, you will get worms in your stomach.
Swimming after eating? Cramp up and DIE! Wait four hours.
Brush one hundred strokes twice each day for healthy hair.
Bad guys love cramped spaces. Check nightly under bed, closet.
Bloody Mary Bloody Mary Bloody Mary and now I’m dead!
Safest to hover so sewer alligators can’t bite my ass…
Never camp in fall – you’ll be mauled by mating moose!
Evil squirrels carry rabies: still actively afraid of being bitten!
Terrified of all rabid small furry animals including asshole squirrels.
(Had to add ahole to make 10)
Don’t ask what’s under the bed, dad says: condoms.
Oh no that was only nine!
Don’t ask what’s under the bed, dad says: condoms. EW!
There we go.
Hanging out in a wet bathing suit will cause polio!
Stick arm out car window – hit (tree/telephone pole) – arm gone.
If you just think about sex you will get pregnant.
That’s the short version, but no shit, my Sunday School teacher did this whole “thinking turns into obsessing turns into action” scare tactic in Church one day.
She also said if you question the Bible “maybe you’re just not one of the chosen” and that on Judgement Day, Jesus would review all of your sins in the presence of everyone else in the Universe and all I could think of was a giant movie screen playing out all my wrongdoings. Which sometimes crosses my mind during sex, so I suck in my stomach and try to be extra kinky. Really. Ok maybe I made up that last part.
breaking a mirror will give you seven years bad luck
if you don’t wear underwear, ants will crawl in you
If you stare at the moon, you’ll become hypnotized. Dag.
Do not eat mustard – it is baby poop. Thanks, brother.
Don’t sit close to the TV, you will damage your eyes.
Hair from my horses tail turn into snake if put in puddle.
#46 hanging out in wet bathing suit will give you impetigo ??
I was pretty fearless (read dumbass) as a kid, but I sure wish your dad had talked to my mother about squeezing
black heads. The woman scared me.
Sister told me milk was cow pee crying at breakfast p s: being the youngest is hell totally f….ed up for life
Eating crust off bread will grow hair on your chest.
Nothing as frightening as this pimple is right now, thanks.
Don’t drink milk when eating rhubarb ~ your stomach will curdle.
Oh, and how ’bout GUM IS CAT INTESTINES! (2nd Grade.)
The glass factory sucks kids down through the sand dunes.
(My dad. He told me that the factory melted sand into glass, and so there are big hose-pipes just under the dunes and if a small child who didn’t listen to her father played on those dunes even after being told not to, then those hose-pipes would SUCK YOU RIGHT UP and then you would be MELTED and the glass made out of you would be REALLY UGLY. Thanks, Dad!)
The sand factory sucks down little kids who DONT listen!
The sand was sent away to make the glass, silly girl. And.. I thought yours would be the cloud factory….
To #26
How do you know you won’t go to hell, hmmm?
holy crap, most of this! and the pimple thing too.
Actually #20 is true.
every sin hammers a nail in Jesus’ hands.
Terrified
Don’t run with sissors, not true cause I did this last week in my livingroom while wrapping a Birthday gift.
my father would tell me if he pushed my belly button with his finger my legs will fall off – this was later confirmed by my grandfather. so it must be true!
But Dad, the “Moss Landing is where clouds come from” didn’t lead me to be pants-wettingly terrified of school field trips to the beach. I’m still too scared to walk on dunes, and even if I do I look at the ground to make sure there isn’t a pipe sticking out.
Never walk on freshly mopped, still wet floor. Mother’s wrath.
Eating pork gives you worms in the shoulder. Thanks, Brother.
(Yes, I always slipped him my pork chops after that).
Swallow a watermelon seed and it will grow in stomach.
Sit on a toilet seat after a boy does – pregnant.
Tell on your sister/brother and your life is over.
Watching Alfred Hitchcock’s movie “The Birds”. Still hate those birds.
In some form, I have heard lots of these answers.
Pushing in your belly button unscrews your butt, unscrews? Ha!
Sneeze holding: top of head opens and shoots straight off.
Every mortal sin pounds the nails in Jesus even further.
(yowza)
Do not share hairbrush. Will cause lice on head. Mine.
Don’t swallow watermelon seeds because they will grow inside you. (And yes, I believed this.)
Don’t sing at the dinner table, makes the angels cry.
Ditto number 6 – Don’t even think about uttering “Bloody Mary” in a mirror, lest you invoke a baby-stealing she-beast.
Blowing nose hard blows brains out. Makes one stupider.
From an older sister that delighted in torturing me!
Well, unfortunately for me your post came a few days too late! I just went from diagram B to diagram E with a zit on my chin. Then had half of a double chin in fashion of Dudley Do-Right….chin cleavage from the swelling…..as of today the swelling is more like I am harboring a plain M&M under the zit!
Don’t drink last of milk, that’s where cow poop settles.
“Leave the refrigerator open and it will start a fire.”
A big, fat lie based on a small truth: My father’s house burned down because of a faulty refrigerator. My mom used this one to keep us from browsing with the door open too long. I believed it and would slam that door shut after counting to 10.
someone murdered during song “rollercoaster:” never listened again to again
shit…I hate it when I do that; should have read:
someone murdered during song “rollercoaster:” never listened to it again
If you wear black underwear you will never have babies.
Kids who sleep with pillows end up in neck braces.
Caffeine will stunt your growth so no Coke for you.
Standing in front of running microwave causes serious radiation issues.
I may or may not still believe this.
Mayonnaise has an IQ of 7.
Thanks a lot, Dad.
Well I guess one of my next posts is going to be from my husband visiting me in the ICU because of my brain swelling. I popped a whitehead pimple last week.
Great just freaking great!
“eat your green beans, they put hair on your chest”
………my dad, to his daughters.
And the watermelon thing too. My favorite needs more than 10 words. We were told that the classic painting “American Gothic” (stern man and woman in front of a barn w/ pitchfork) were named Cyrus and Abigail. They ran the farm for kids who didn’t behave themselves, and that’s where our summers would be spent if we didn’t get it together. That one worked until high school art history class. Talk about making a jackass out of yourself in a large group of people by arguing with the teacher. Also, at my house, Santa had sent one of his own personal elves to keep an eye on my sister and me. His name was Elmer, and he hung out behind the woodpile. I’m not certain, but I think my dad named him after Elmer’s glue.