Mar 26, 2006
Dear Bossy
Addiction!! I find myself overtaken by blistex. For some reason I have to constantly apply it. Pushing 6-7 tubs empty a week is not uncommon. Stockpiling has also become an issue. My closet is full of bulk purchases of blistex. I CANT WAIT TO OPEN A FRESH TUBE – WHAT DO I DO?
Do they stick nicotine in this shit or what?
please help,
Love cousin
———-
Dear Cousin,
Tell me about it. Who stands a chance? This isn’t your grandfather’s balm, this is a frigging Lip Revitalizer. According to the Blistex website, the product “gently removes damaged, rough cells on the surface of lips while providing a light moisture seal to help dry lip cells replenish.” Holy mother of gawd. Sounds awfully lofty for a company that lists acid as its first ingredient. My advice? Cut back during the day, but apply a generous dose before bed and allow it to seep while you sleep. A final warning, Cousin: For external use only.
why kill yourself with a 12-step balm withdrawal program? do what i do–buy a cartload of trader joe’s 3-packs of stick lip balm (smooths on way better than waxy chapstick) and place them in every room of your abode and every bag you carry.
apply liberally at all times and when you get colon cancer or whatever, don’t blame me!
btw, how can you even think of using a product called Blistex? ew-w!
Great blog! Thanks for not judging blistex addiction, there are a lot worse things you can do with your lips.
I managed the Dodgers when they were in Brooklyn. (Yeah, I AM an old fart). Anyway, may I recommend Dinty Moore-flavored Chapstick? What you don’t slather onto your lips, you can squeegee onto your morning Coco Krisps.