Oct 18, 2006
It’s time for another installment of: Everything I know about the bowels I learned from reading Bossy.
Did you know the color of your urine is a good indicator of how much water you drink in a day? The more water you drink, the more transparent the piddle. Which means yellow wee-wee isn’t necessarily a good thing.
Bossy would like to introduce Oprah’s new toy: Dr. Mehmet Oz — whose first name spelled backward is Tem Hem.
According to hunky Dr. Oz, ideally your pee should be “clear enough to read a magazine through.” Which is great news because whenever Bossy drops an open magazine into her toilet she’s never sure exactly what to do next.
In order to make clear-ish pee, a healthy person should drink between eight to ten 8oz. glasses of water a day. Bossy favors her little Wholesale Club water bottles, which contain 1 pint.
Please Hold while Bossy employs a little math to figure out how many bottles of Wholesale Club water she’ll need to drink to equal 80oz of water a day.
Answer: A whole lot.
In fact, you don’t want to drink too much water. Especially if you’re one of those types who retain fluids. This could lead to serious complications.
In order to illustrate the ideal Water/Pee Color ratio, Bossy created the following highly technical Pee Swatch©:
You’re really aiming for Candelit Dinner. Good Vibrations, maybe. But Broadway Lights indicates you’re not drinking nearly enough water. And if you’re pissing Luminous Days then your nights are numbered.
LMAO Bossy. But won’t it be fun to see Oprah’s new bitch try to expand a 5 minute segment on piss color into an hour long program, you know once she gets him his own show.
WHOA 1peanut. First thing is first. Dr. ROBIN is Oprah’s number one and only; she’d have to do a psychanalytic report on the perpetual fear of water in excess on her BRAND NEW SHOW and invite Ozzy as a specialized guest. From THEN, do you build Oz’s reputation.
You have to consolidate your foci here.