Jan 25, 2007

Take a Virtual Vacation With Bossy!

This is the QE2:

She’s a 963-foot luxury liner that has been circling the globe since 1975. Departing from New York, the QE2’s 109-day cruise features stops in Acapulco, Hawaii, Australia, Japan, China, and South Africa.

Here is a view of the interior:

Originally built as a two-class liner in the 1960s, the QE2 did away with all that class business years ago. These days they offer a myriad of cabins to suit any budget:

The size and location and price of your cabin determine which dining room you are assigned. Those in the larger suites and split-level apartments dine in the elegant Queen’s Grill, while those who dwell in the interior staterooms situated next to one of the turbo charged diesel engines take their meals in the Mauritania – a dining room named after an African country ranked one of the poorest in the world. So much for doing away with class distinctions – enjoy your deep fried skate.

However the QE2 welcomes all passengers – even those in the skanky underclass – to enjoy the various swimming pools, night clubs, movie theater, casino, shopping promenade, health club, beauty salon, computer center, and what is advertised as, “The most extensive library at sea.”

Did Bossy mention the on-board hospital? Staffed by two whole doctors? Good because boy are you going to need it. The Center for Disease Control reports that nearly 300 passengers on the latest round-the-world cruise contracted the norovirus only 16 days into their trip. Side effects include stomach cramps, nausea, vomiting, headache, chills, and death. But only when you’re elderly and we all know none of them are on cruise ships.

Here’s The Whole Story Including How The Staff Had To Run Around Disinfecting The Casino Chips.

And Here’s The Ship’s Loose Stool Itinerary.

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4 comments

1. 1
   on January 25th, 2007 at 9:29 pm
   Adorable Girlfriend said:

   There are two things AG does not want to get ever, let alone on a cruise ship:

   The norovirus

   and

   The crabs

   Never ever.


2. 2
   on January 25th, 2007 at 10:35 pm
   Brando said:

   Must. Resist. Cheap. Crabs. Joke.

   Bossy, did you ever read The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen? That pretty much destroyed whatever cruise impulses I once had. I’d rather ride on a cruise missile than on a cruise ship.


3. 3
   on January 26th, 2007 at 12:31 pm
   1peanut said:

   forget the norovirus. eating shit like that fish (? is it fish? still with a head?) will make you sick enough to keep those 2 whole doctors busy.


4. 4
   on January 26th, 2007 at 3:20 pm
   Chuckles said:

   I have a friend in the Peace Corps that is stationed in Mauritania. That place is an effing hole according to her and she would know. Over half the country is straight up desert.