Apr 19, 2007

Dear Bossy

I find myself overtaken by Blistex. I apply it constantly, pushing 6-7 tubs empty a week is not uncommon. Stockpiling has also become an issue. I can’t wait to open a fresh tube – what do I do?

Love Cousin
———-

Dear Cousin,

Who stands a chance? This isn’t your grandfather’s balm, this is a fecking Lip Revitalizer. According to the Blistex website, the product “gently removes damaged, rough cells on the surface of lips while providing a light moisture seal to help lip cells replenish.” Sounds awfully lofty for a company that lists acid as its first ingredient.

Bossy’s advice? Cut back during the day, but apply a generous dose before bed and allow it to seep while you sleep. A final warning: For external use only.

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5 comments

1. 1
   on April 19th, 2007 at 9:09 am
   Avitable said:

   Also useful for those moments when you need some prostate manipulation but are just too tired to reach for the anal lube.


2. 2
   on April 19th, 2007 at 9:37 am
   Oh, The Joys said:

   Dear Bossy:

   I have a problem with the Burt’s Bee version.

   Is your advice the same?

   (Can I use it INTERNALLY?)

   Best,
   OTJ


3. 3
   on April 19th, 2007 at 11:15 am
   The Great Getzby said:

   Blistex Medicated Mint Lip Balm … you’ll thank me later.


4. 4
   on April 19th, 2007 at 11:25 am
   rena said:

   Fer cryin’ out loud, people: M.A.C. Couture Lipglass.


5. 5
   on April 19th, 2007 at 11:25 am
   Adorable Girlfriend said:

   Medicated is much much better!