Jul 20, 2007
Again With The Photoshop Tutorial: Deborah Jean Palfrey.
Deborah Jean Palfrey is the D.C. Madam facing federal charges for running a prostitution ring in our nation’s capital.
Servicing 10,000 clients in a thirteen-year period, Deborah Jean Palfrey ran her business from her California home. Pausing only for the occasional half-hour break, Palfrey’s day stretched from 8 in the morning to 11 at night, while she continuously made and received customer phone calls that typically lasted under three minutes each.
Her recently released phone records reveal that her clients were doctors, lawyers, congressmen, technology professionals, lobbyists, college professors, Capital Hill staffers, sports insiders, activists, and government contractors — the majority of them married and living in Maryland and Virginia’s leafy suburbs.
Deborah Jean Palfrey was the quintessential successful small business owner. Which is why it’s so sad that this became her internationally syndicated press shot:
So Bossy thought she would help her out with her Photoshop hack job mad skillz.
The first thing Bossy needs to address is the flyaway hair. Bossy selects the eyedropper tool to establish the background color and then replaces the fly-away hair using the paintbrush tool:
This is the result of the first change:
Next Bossy needs to get rid of the Copyright. This is absolutely illegal fine
so quit calling the police worrying:
Now we have this:
With the copyright removed What copyright? Let’s give her eyes some attention. First open a duplicate layer:
Then select the dodge tool.
Then open a new window for the Duplicate Layer so you can magnify the eye in order to work on it. Press your little circle thingy all over the eyeball to bring it to life:
This is a certain D.C. Madam after her right eye has been manipulated. Look at the difference between that and her corpse eye left eye!
Next Bossy will give the tart entrepreneur a new lipstick color because Bossy’s friend Martha says subtle lips are in and if anyone knows subtle it’s Martha because here she is:
Anyway. First we need to select the lasso tool:
Next we need to lasso all around the lips:
Then we need to get our asses over to the Replace Color window:
Grab the first eyedropper tool and click it in the field of color you want to replace:
Next, this:
Bossy used the same technique to change Deborah Jean Palfrey’s shirt color and this is what we have so far:
Poor Deborah Jean Palfrey. It’s hard work arranging all that fecking those escorts but Photoshop contends you don’t have to look sleazy exhausted. So Bossy grabs the dodge tool again to reduce the dark circles under her eyes:
Then she adjusts her dodge tool settings:
And once again Bossy gets busy dotting the area she needs to lighten:
This is Miss Palfrey after jail time the under-eye bags are removed:
Next Bossy fiddles a bit with Deborah Jean’s smile and voilà the completed before and after comparison:
Your mad skillz astound me. You should work for vogue and make all those anorexic models…well, more anorexic looking. She should be proud you made so many awesome improvements. Snoop Dog would be proud.
I saw the resemblance to Snoop right away, but thanks to your awesomeness, you really brought it to the forefront.
Your patience astounds me.
.
wow you have mad skillz! I’m impressed.
G-to-tha-izzirl, you have buggin` photoshop skills!
Les~
I wish you wrote the Photoshop documentation.
The Snoop gag was a great ending. Well played.
again. speechless.
hey bossy.
now HERE’s a photo challenge for you:
http://anxiousaboutlife.blogs.com/photos/uncategorized/holyshit_1.jpg
given the much more respectable photo on the left, any chance you could help my drunk face from falling on to that mic?
Dearest Bossy,
Tre Magnifique!! A shortcut?? Play around with the “clone stamp” and the “band-aid / healing tool”. These things make saggy under-eye transformation and erasure of (ahem) copyright stamps a snap! No more messy eyedropper tool!
I would like to see you work on J-lo’s budunk adunk next…
Ok. I think I just peed a little.
You are too fucking funny, woman.
Oh. I was waiting for a big finish, but I wasn’t expecting that. Bravo.
OMG. I don’t know why other people even bother blogging. You are definitely the master!
You are a genius!
It’s been said, already— GENIUS. Bossy is da blog genius.
Don’t you wonder if she ever got any?
I’m just saying….arranging all that f*ing might have made her…. well, anyway.
The big reveal cracked me up. Apparently, she has a hormone issue, but girl can tan!
I was all paying attention and stuff, thinking “Maybe I should write some of this down.” Then I got to the end – does anyone know how to get red wine stains out of an i-mac?
You.Are.Funny!
Bossy – you are a Photoshop Master. Or should that be Madam?
Watching you learn photoshop is like watching the Lawnmower Man gradually go from being retarded to being a super-genius.
Delurking to say: Bossy is a genius.
You definitely have the bloggin’, photoshoppin’, makin’ us laugh skills!
Great post …..again!
I need the mad skillz. How do I get the mad skillz, when I barely can find a boyfriend at this age?
Me next! Me! Me! i want a Bossy Extreme Makeover!
The ending was spectular!
Bossy you have the best punchlines!
I’m e-mailing you a whole lot of pictures of me. I’d like to look like Cher please.
Hot DAWG yer good.
i have so much to learn from you, my dear Bossy…
Bossy, you are a GENius.
Plus, I thought of you when I opened up photocorelshopdraw or whatever it’s called today.
I was just photoshopping my pajama-clad self out of an adorable baby shot to put on my blog, but I felt POWERFUL.
Like Bossy.
From now on I want you to touch up all my head shots.
Mr. Fabulous: When you say that it sounds so dirty.
Everyone else: thanks for your support. Especially since Bossy still can’t “Magic-Wand” a pimple away. Serious Oy.
Are you a teacher in real life? Or do you get paid by the column inch? Nice details, thanks for the learning.
Thanks so much for the tutorial…
and the laughs!!!
You are the funniest blogger I read, I like you wicked, wacked sense of humor.
Have a blast in Chicago.