Feb 23, 2009

Top 25 Reasons Bossy Is Happy She Didn’t Make Time Magazine’s 25 Best Blogs List.

1. It would have been so embarrassing to devote an entire post to Time Magazine’s 25 Best Blogs list. Really. Who would read that?
2. Time Magazine would call to tell Bossy she made the list and then she’d have to talk on the phone. Or maybe they notify by email.
3. Time Magazine would notify Bossy by email and then Bossy would have been all, “Time Magazine who? Let Bossy guess: you hate “read more” and can’t see Bossy’s Latest Post photos and you liked her blog better on TypePad.”
4. Bossy would need to write an acceptance speech, which would activate her Carpal Tunnel Syndrome. Oh, you don’t deliver a speech when you make Time Magazine’s 25 Best Blogs list?
5. Bossy wouldn’t in any way be required to write an acceptance speech, which would leave her dormant hand available for eBay and the inevitable pair of factory holes.
6. Bossy would need a very expensive haircut for the Time Magazine photo shoot. There is no photo shoot?
7. Bossy wouldn’t in any way need an expensive haircut and so would return to Hades for some bleach with a side of bleach.
8. Bossy would have to endure the embarrassment of sharing 25 Best Blog space with blog authors no one has heard of, like that whatchamacallit lady. Huffington. Shuffingthon?
9. Bossy would need to field all those book offers, which would cut down on her thinking time. Thinking time with Fetzer Merlot.
10. Bossy’s server would crash from the spike in blog traffic and then Bossy would need to write one of those Tee-hee about the blog yesterday but the server crashed because Bossy has one bazillion new fans! posts. Shiver.
11. Someone might discover Bossy’s blog who wasn’t merely the neighbor of a patient of Bossy’s father the Cardiologist. Hi dad.
12. Bossy’s internet ranking would go up again and then Bossy wouldn’t be able to complain about her drop in internet rank due to her switch from TypePad to Wordpress. Because, seriously? What would Bossy write about then?
13. Bossy would need to walk to a newsstand and purchase that edition of Time Magazine when clearly those few dollars would be better spent as a tip in a train station bar.
14. The confused faces at cocktail parties might finally understand what it is Bossy does during the day and who is Bossy if not the chick doing that thing with the thing?
15. Bossy’s advertising revenue would skyrocket and then Bossy would have to sign the back of all those checks and see earlier item regarding Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.
16. Bossy would need to sort through a windfall of promotional giveaway offers, which would clog her gmail inbox and prevent her from seeing the really important emails about how to make your lovestick bigger.
17. Hello one person left who is still reading down this list!
18. Don’t tell anyone Bossy doesn’t really have 25 whole reasons she’s happy she didn’t make Time Magazine’s 25 Best Blogs list.
19. Is magazine capitalized when referring to Time Magazine?
20. Does anyone have a good recipe for potato leek soup?
21. What is it about leeks that intimidate Bossy? Must be all that sand stuck up in there.
22. Sand stuck up in there reminds Bossy of when she was a kid and would climb in a bathtub after a day in the ocean. Sister mercy, not a grain of sand left on the beach.
23. Back then Bossy had a red canvas raft with a knotty towline that easily twisted around one’s leg — or neck — before dragging your limp body under the surf. Those were the days.
24. Yesterday Bossy decided she was changing her favorite curse word from fecking feck feck to Christ on the Cross. It’s more homespun.
25. And finally, Bossy would’ve had to list the Top 25 reasons she’s happy she made Time Magazine’s 25 Best Blog list and, sorry Bossy, that’s just a dumb idea for a post.

permanent link to post

62 comments

1. 1
   on February 23rd, 2009 at 10:02 am
   MemeGRL said:

   I am making potato leek soup today in my ongoing love affair with my new cookbook and immersion blender. If it is any good I will let you know. (Betcha didn’t think anyone was reading that far!)


2. 2
   on February 23rd, 2009 at 10:04 am
   The Domestic Goddess said:

   Time, Schmime. Who needs it.


3. 3
   on February 23rd, 2009 at 10:14 am
   Rechelle said:

   Bossy is far more clever, original, and witty – she is just disastrously lacking in the ability to be inane.


4. 4
   on February 23rd, 2009 at 10:20 am
   Pioneer Woman said:

   It just so happens I have a recipe for Leek and Potato Pizza!

   It’s crack, speaking of Marc Jacobs.


5. 5
   on February 23rd, 2009 at 10:27 am
   MariaV said:

   I’m also intimidated by leeks.

   My favorite curse word is still “Jesus, Mary and Joseph.”


6. 6
   on February 23rd, 2009 at 10:35 am
   Grandma J said:

   I never read Time Magazine, and I don’t eat pizza. Well, I do eat pizza when I’m not dieting, which is the mode I’m in right now.

   My favorite cuss word is “Jesus H. Christ” or “Holy Mother of God”


7. 7
   on February 23rd, 2009 at 10:41 am
   kristin said:

   Meh–Time. Who needs them? I looked at that list. It has exactly two sites I have ever looked at or would ever look at. You’re on my Top 25 list. And of course, that’s JUST AS MUCH of an honor as Time’s stupid list.


8. 8
   on February 23rd, 2009 at 10:59 am
   Bridget said:

   I just checked out the list. I give it an “eh” with a side of “whatevs.”


9. 9
   on February 23rd, 2009 at 11:01 am
   pamela said:

   But none of those blogs is actually fun to read. Well, let me take that back: Pioneer Woman is fun. And who are the rest of those people? Dooce? Dooce who?


10. 10
    on February 23rd, 2009 at 11:24 am
    Jenn @ Juggling Life said:

    Bossy wuz robbed. What other blogger cared enough to actually come see us? Bossy is my #1 blog.


11. 11
    on February 23rd, 2009 at 11:55 am
    Lesley said:

    Oh dear god. I got tired of clicking “next” “next” “next” – just give me a full damn list, Time. I gave up at about #8, I think. Plus, you know, one of those blogs has “four regular bloggers” plus some kinda revolving door of guest bloggers and surrrre. We could all have top 25 blogs, too, if we had BLOGGING STAFFS. Pfffft.

    You’re on MY top 25 list. And you’re pretty much near the top of THAT. Yay Bossy!


12. 12
    on February 23rd, 2009 at 12:01 pm
    The Other Lisa said:

    Knorr’s makes a killer leek soup mix. You’d have to add your own sand and potatoes.


13. 13
    on February 23rd, 2009 at 12:06 pm
    ashley said:

    Leeks have too many names which is how I am intimidated. Green onions? Leeks? meh, I can’t figure it out. Will make soup, however. Oh, and that list? Blech (except for you PW)…


14. 14
    on February 23rd, 2009 at 12:22 pm
    Dara said:

    Bossy, I read you everyday. I think you are fabulous. I tried to read D**ce, but I don’t get it and it makes me want to take a nap….I do enjoy PW, but I don’t always have time to read it. I always, always read iambossy.

    Oh, I”ve started saying for fooks sake. I like to think I’ve traded up in the cussing department.

    P.S. Here in my tiny village we have a Chinese restaurant called, “Fookin John”. Priceless.


15. 15
    on February 23rd, 2009 at 12:30 pm
    Domestic Goddess (in training) said:

    Seriously, I question the critera for making that list… because some of those blogs… about as good as Mickey Rourke’s hair last night. Interesting, but with a little too much bleach, grease and strings attached.


16. 16
    on February 23rd, 2009 at 12:34 pm
    Avitable said:

    You did, however, make the top 25 on Thyme Magazine, the herb-lover’s periodical.


17. 17
    on February 23rd, 2009 at 12:44 pm
    Aimee said:

    You were robbed!


18. 18
    on February 23rd, 2009 at 12:47 pm
    Momo Fali said:

    Bossy is #1 in my book. I’m glad you didn’t make the list. It gives you something to shoot for next year.


19. 19
    on February 23rd, 2009 at 12:48 pm
    Lizzy said:

    Fecking, feck Time MmMagazine; what do they know?

    Christ on the Cross,
    Lizzy


20. 20
    on February 23rd, 2009 at 1:01 pm
    the other Wendy said:

    Dooce is boring…There. I said it.
    Every once in a while, I head over to it, thinking, “Maybe I’m missing something.” Nope.


21. 21
    on February 23rd, 2009 at 1:12 pm
    Baby Favorite said:

    I’m over Dooce.

    Yours, however, I read first every, single day. So there.

    (Because, you know, me – with my big readership of 8 people – is what matters to you most. Right?)


22. 22
    on February 23rd, 2009 at 1:13 pm
    Manic Mommy said:

    #16 – Heh.

    I still love you, Bossy.


23. 23
    on February 23rd, 2009 at 1:23 pm
    well read hostess said:

    I would have liked to be included on the Most Overrated Blog list…because an overrating is better than a norating, right?


24. 24
    on February 23rd, 2009 at 1:31 pm
    joeinvegas said:

    Not sure about your new curse words. You might end up in Google search results for people you might not want to come here. Especially those two guys with the skinny ties that come by on bikes to save you (unless you like that stuff)


25. 25
    on February 23rd, 2009 at 1:38 pm
    The Cheap Chick said:

    Thank you for writing what we all were thinking… a good recipe for potato leek soup WOULD hit the spot right about now. And Time lists are dumb, too.


26. 26
    on February 23rd, 2009 at 1:43 pm
    Julie said:

    I am bossy is the first place I go after starting the coffee pot every morning, seven days a week… You are original and you always make me laugh!


27. 27
    on February 23rd, 2009 at 1:44 pm
    Reeb said:

    17 through 23 = my favorite reasons.

    (#11/Leslie, I was clicking and clicking through all those annoying individual blog names/descriptioins, when lo and behold, just to the right of the “Best Blogs of 2009″ headline, there appeared the link “Full List.” A handy time saver. Cause I got confused by Bossy’s last statement and thought that somehow she WAS on the list. Made me look, Bossy!)


28. 28
    on February 23rd, 2009 at 1:46 pm
    Sarah S said:

    I have never even heard of any of those blogs. They all look boring to me yours is much better anyways.


29. 29
    on February 23rd, 2009 at 2:07 pm
    Liza said:

    I’m sorry you’re not on the list – you’re on mine. Cheesy enough for you? No? Here’s my soup recipe:
    Potato Leek Soup
    4-5 lbs leeks
    6 tbsp butter (I use olive oil)
    tbsp flour
    5 1/4 cups chicken broth
    1 bay leaf
    1 3/4 lbs potatoes (red) diced
    • white and light green from leeks – some dark, chop
    • saute butter and leeks – 15-20 minutes ’til tender – do not brown
    • sprinkle flour – cook until flour dissolves
    • increase to high heat and whisk constantly while adding broth slowly
    • add pototoes and bay leaf and cover and bring to boil
    • reduce heat and boil until potatoes are almost tender
    • remove from heat
    • let stand covered until potatoes are tender and flavors meld


30. 30
    on February 23rd, 2009 at 2:13 pm
    Tricia said:

    You’re so cute. I’m with those who don’t get Dooce. You should start some blog war with her. You think she’d fight ya? That would be cute, too.

    Well, you’re on my person top 5 blogs, if it helps any.


31. 31
    on February 23rd, 2009 at 2:17 pm
    jim said:

    eh, you’re the fan favorite, i wouldn’t stress about Time’s list. in ten years everyone will be like “yeah, huffington’s cool, but what about Bossy?” the same way all the hipsters out there are with Pearl Jam v. Echo and the Bunnymen.

    perhaps you’re cautious of leeks because of that horrible
    Wordsworth poem “the leek gatherer”? god, that put me off onions of any sort for about six years.

    my favorite curse must be “by the tiny balls of christ.” i had to choose between keeping this and teaching english at a high school. now i work in a cubicle where i can do no harm to the country’s developing minds, and i don’t regret it for a second.


32. 32
    on February 23rd, 2009 at 2:32 pm
    kate said:

    26. dumb time magazine..


33. 33
    on February 23rd, 2009 at 2:35 pm
    ellen said:

    You’re awesome, Bossy! Those people at TIME are just confused. I’m sure they’ll see the folly of their ways soon enough. I mean, who else: writes about: fashion, movies (complete with headless Barbie scenarios to flesh things out), food, alcohol, hair, their kids, their ancestors, AND provides the most detailed explanation of the electoral college that I’VE ever read, AND drives across the country and blogs about THAT???? Dooce? Noooooooo…. Andrew Sullivan? Nooooooooo…. Arianna Huffington? I.don’t.think.so. Those people are just missin’ out.


34. 34
    on February 23rd, 2009 at 2:36 pm
    POD said:

    Huffingthong.
    Hello.


35. 35
    on February 23rd, 2009 at 2:37 pm
    reen said:

    Glad to hear I’m not the only one who’d much prefer to be here than at D88ce…think I gave that up a year or more ago. Bossy, you are the first stop I make in Bloglines every day (here’s where I tell you I love that all of your posts show up in there now, rather than just the main post that used to show up from your TypePad site!)…and there are many reasons for that!!!

    Oh, fav swear is Jesus on a pogo stick!


36. 36
    on February 23rd, 2009 at 3:50 pm
    Peg said:

    All of those blogs (with the exception of P Dub) are as boring as Time magazine itself. Dooce is awful…I once checked it out because of your video and honestly do not understand who reads it. It will never be as clever and hip as iambossy.


37. 37
    on February 23rd, 2009 at 4:18 pm
    Cat said:

    I agree with Peg on Dooce — boring. Bossy is my fave. I actually wrote a post about that fact on Saturday.

    http://mynameiscat.blogspot.com/2009/02/my-blogger-mentor.html


38. 38
    on February 23rd, 2009 at 4:23 pm
    Angie said:

    Bossy will always be at the top of my list because she actually visited me AND left a comment. I heart Bossy 4-ever. What do those Time people know anyway?


39. 39
    on February 23rd, 2009 at 4:30 pm
    Meg said:

    Bossy, I could have easily read an additional dozen reasons whyTime knows jack.

    Potato leek soup – use the Barefoot Contessa recipe- it rocks, and contains a healthy dose of wine.

    http://designsbymeg.com/blog/category/food-glorious-food/


40. 40
    on February 23rd, 2009 at 5:23 pm
    Bush Babe of Granite Glen said:

    Ah, but WHO else on the TM list got the actual Pioneer Woman herself to COMMENT on their non-acceptance blog? I ask you?

    And what other blogger would have taken time out of their hectic blogging schedules to help an hapless Antipodean lost in the internet highway? And who would have bothered to come over and comment on weepy Great Dane posts to make her feel better? I ask you?

    You are on MY top 25. And really, that’s all that matters!

    Hugs
    BB


41. 41
    on February 23rd, 2009 at 5:35 pm
    Surcie said:

    The only one of those blogs I visit regularly is Huffington Post.

    What I love about your blog, Bossy, is that it isn’t about how cool and clever you are. It just so happens that you are totally cool and extremely clever. (I don’t know if that makes sense, but I know what I mean.)


42. 42
    on February 23rd, 2009 at 5:43 pm
    Tracy said:

    You rock Bossy…and definitely should have made Time’s top 25 list! Not sure what the hoopla over Dooce is either…she never updates. What I love about you Bossy is you keep us well entertained! Thanks!


43. 43
    on February 23rd, 2009 at 5:44 pm
    J said:

    Reason #26 (if there were 25 reasons): that list is for people who don’t already read blogs… not for those of us who have selectively weeded out the boring ones (caveat, I will forever read and love PW and Dooce) and now focus the little time we have on the AWESOME BLOGS LIKE BOSSY’S!


44. 44
    on February 23rd, 2009 at 5:45 pm
    Mr Farty said:

    Best Blogs in whose opinion? Jesus H, these lists make me mad. No wait, I was mad already.

    Has Bossy recovered from seeing P-Dub’s comment yet?


45. 45
    on February 23rd, 2009 at 6:18 pm
    Lee of MWOB said:

    Oh Bossy….you are totally worthy of the top 25 blogs of 2009. You remain at the top of my list which means nothing of course – except to me.


46. 46
    on February 23rd, 2009 at 6:26 pm
    Coco said:

    Don’t feel bad. I had only been to two of those sites. Pioneer Woman and Seth Godin. Most of it was snooze city to me. I do NOT want to read about politics and techy stuff that is over my head. Boring.


47. 47
    on February 23rd, 2009 at 7:48 pm
    jen said:

    Bossy, you are my very favorite blog.


48. 48
    on February 23rd, 2009 at 9:04 pm
    Nellyfrittata said:

    I hope Bossy’s blog can be successful enough for her without getting too big for its britches. Bossy’s blog is my favorite.

    It’s a paradox. If your blog gets too big, then (a) you treat everyone like a snowman like Dooce does, or (b) you try to keep that personal connection which is a little hard when you get 10,000 comments on a post like PW does.

    Bossy’s blog is a completely different animal. It’s cozy and personal. If you send Bossy something cute or funny via email, she writes back to you! Christ on the Cross, Bossy is awesome!


49. 49
    on February 23rd, 2009 at 9:14 pm
    Chesapeake Bay Woman said:

    Only 5 Reasons Why Bossy is the Best (Because there are plenty more)

    1. Bossy can say something as simple as “Let Bossy guess” as part of a side sentence in #3 above and make me die laughing hysterically at how consistently she uses the third person. Whether that’s a reflection of Bossy’s comic genius or my weirdness is debatable but unimportant

    2. Bossy drove across country and back to visit all of her fans. She left her family for a month or more and traveled alone. She may have harmed a cowboy boyfriend named Josh somewhere between Oklahoma and Arizona,but that is neither here nor there.

    3. Bossy can reenact the African Queen with Barbies. Headless Barbies.

    4. Bossy has hair that menstruates and she can get pregnant by a Saturn. Is there any other blogger out there who can profess that? Is any further supporting evidence really necessary?

    5. There is no human being on the planet with more husbands and boyfriends, from New York to Seattle, from movie stars to donated Saturns, from presidential candidates to hair dressers–Bossy is indiscriminate.

    She’s also incredible, with or without Time magazine. (Magazine?)


50. 50
    on February 23rd, 2009 at 9:23 pm
    Eloise said:

    You would top my list of favorite blogs any day, Bossy.


51. 51
    on February 23rd, 2009 at 10:26 pm
    kay bryan said:

    what the hay does Time Magazine know anyway. Losers. You are no. 1 in my book!


52. 52
    on February 23rd, 2009 at 10:30 pm
    jandondi said:

    I love me some Huffington….
    but I gotta say…someone isn’t doing their job to miss Bossy. Shame on ears to the ground at Time.
    And my favorite curse that I learned from my granddaughter when she was in Friends preschool….the inevitable….
    POOPY BUTT.


53. 53
    on February 23rd, 2009 at 10:45 pm
    Suebob said:

    Haven’t any of these people ever heard of a personal humor blog besides Dooce? I mean, she is great and all but GIVE IT A FREAKING REST. Take a look around the internetz! Yeesh.

    And Jim Cramer? The same Jim Cramer who has been pretty much wrong about everything? Yeah, right.


54. 54
    on February 23rd, 2009 at 11:39 pm
    J said:

    Now talking about blogs, how about twitter, myspace, facebook, proflies, or followers. . It’s like opening your front door at home to all the strangers and inviting them in. Does that make any sense?


55. 55
    on February 24th, 2009 at 12:09 am
    Michelr said:

    You are in my top 20 blogs. Ok – you are number 1!


56. 56
    on February 24th, 2009 at 12:27 am
    g said:

    Me, personally, i’ve always used “Christ on a crutch!”
    Bossy rocks. The hell with those other 25 bloggers.


57. 57
    on February 24th, 2009 at 1:22 am
    Camille said:

    Well I didn’t make it either. But I’m pretty sure you came 100% closer to it than I did. I have, like, 10 readers. Or 20, but still.

    You’re on MY top 25 list. Or 50. : ) No, 25, really.


58. 58
    on February 24th, 2009 at 9:52 am
    rikki said:

    I agree with the rest…Bossy is my numero uno. Dooce is a douche.


59. 59
    on February 24th, 2009 at 10:05 am
    Little Miss Sunshine State said:

    Time didn’t pick Bossy?
    Jesus, Mary and Joseph and All The Little Saints.
    A day without Bossy is like a day without sunshine.


60. 60
    on February 25th, 2009 at 2:15 pm
    Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said:

    I don’t want to read Time Magazine’s list because I have to keep clicking READ MORE to get to the next one.

    Eff that.

    I only like clicking READ MORE for BOSSY. For BOSSY I always click READ MORE.


61. 61
    on February 25th, 2009 at 2:26 pm
    Adorable Girlfriend said:

    This will sound terrible, but I am glad Dooce is not on there. She’s OK, but I am over the hype. Time to make room for other bloggers…


62. 62
    on June 7th, 2009 at 2:10 pm
    angkasuwan said:

    lol- is magazine capitalized