Jan 22, 2009
We Interrupt Political Reportage For Some John Cusack Stalking.
Dear John,
It was so very nice to see you in the inaugural stands this past Tuesday, as the country prepared to usher the new President of the United States into office.
And Bossy thinks it was so cute when you compared yourself to Woody Allen’s fictional character Zelig, a human chameleon who transforms himself so as to blend into historic events. Although Bossy must add that, as a chameleon, you looked so very handsome in your black overcoat and cozy narrow tie.
And Bossy thought it was only fitting that CNN would choose to interview you with Steven Spielberg, since it was you who fostered the introductions of then Illinois Senator O’Boyfriend to many of Hollywood’s elite who were at the time supporting Hillary Clinton.
Oh, John, how charming it was when you were all, “Cold? What cold?” since you are, after all, from artic Chicago and… wait… what have we here?
Let’s talk about the harlot clutching the V.I.P. pass and the coffee cup, John. Just who is she? Does she really deserve your company during the inauguration? Bossy bets her parents don’t even have FBI files like Bossy’s parents. And what’s with the perfect hair? Geesh, like that’s important.
Love, Bossy.
That was just Cusack’s Secret service Agent. Bossy should not worry about her. She was there to protect him because he is that imporatant.
Your parents have FBI files?
Cool.
Two-timing bastid. He looked pretty stinkin’ good, though.
She’s too high maintenance for John. He’ll be running back to you in no time. The two of you could reunite in Virginia this summer…..perhaps mid-July?
Bossy. Clearly from the look on his face in that last photo, he’s come to a shocking realization, but you are too mesmerized by the long straightness of her hair to see it. Her bangs. Butchered, too short, and entirely not balanced by the rest of her hair. He knows it. He’ll keep looking, and someday find you.
She is *so* not right. Fecking bastage.
I do love her hair, harlot that she is
Bossy. Although Mr. Cusack’s hair line is receding a bit these last few years, like the rest of testosterone-a-plenty men, I note that so is the harlot’s. Maybe she’s a man in disguise? And I think he’s staring at an “I Am Bossy” bumper sticker.
Its okay Bossy. You have a promising friendship developing with Barack O’Boyfriend!
That’s probably just the coffee barista making a special delivery. No?
I had never seen the video of Bossy and her husband John. That was amazing. It’s obvious how in love the two of you are. Sweet! I wish I had a lovely video like that of me and my husband, Rob Thomas.
Did you know one of my favorite movies is “The Sure Thing”? Back when no one even knew who John was? And when Anthony Edwards had hair? Good times.
“I have a credit card.”
“You have a credit card?”
“I have a credit card! Oh…but my dad specifically said that I could only use it in case of an emergency.”
“Well, maybe one will come up.”
That’s not perfect hair, that’s perfect straw. A sheep or a goat could sleep comfortably on that.
Bossy’s hay beats her straw any day of the week thanks to Antoniohboyfriend, Italian hair god, plus the fact that Bossy’s just better no matter what. John just doesn’t know that yet. Silly John.
I thought I saw John there! I turned to my 10 year old and said “Was that John Cusack?!” And she goes “WHO?” And I said “Journey of Natty Gan?” And she goes “Sigh…..he’s so cute…”
His power is so multi generational….meanwhile…
My God,woman, get a hold of yourself! If I were near bossy I would slap her twice in the face. This woman is clearly in the category of “pal”. The body language says it all. You have nothing. NOTHING to fear. I really think that there is indication in OBoyfriends speech that there was a double meaning to John Cusack. It said “Hands off my bossy.” So in reality there was a sparring of sorts going on in the nations capital. THAT was the historic moment…thinly veiled….
You are too funny! I loved the video. Hot Pursuit is still one of mine and my husband’s favorite movies. He’s hot! I can see why you married him!
John knew that Bossy didn’t have the funds for a trip to DC, so he brought his cousin.
Silly Bossy! That’s Helen Hunt, strictly there as arm-candy, and clearly unable to get Cusack’s mind off Bossy. Look at his anguished scowl. You can almost read his thoughts: Is life without Bossy worth living? Is my upper lip frozen to my teeth?
As you can see, she is no substitute for you, my sweet darling.
I saw her with him and immediately thought of you on Tuesday.
So proud to see John wearing sensible head covering in below freezing weather – and gloves. (unlike Cousin Thang next to him – brrrrr!)
That *LOOKS* like Helen Hunt, but I like to believe that Helen Hunt’s bangs are not that bad.
dear BOSSY,
i don’t know who that woman is.
i swear.
come here, baby.
love,
john
Of course when I saw him I thought of you!
Bossy’s parents have FBI files?
Very cool, but I will up your ante…..my grandfather had a Wanted Poster!
http://askgrandmaj.blogspot.com/2008/08/breaking-rocks-in-hot-son-my-father-was.html
Oh no, no. Not perfect hair.
Perfect John Cusack though.
Swoooooon.
Ahem.
I beg to correct your letter. Should that not read “new AND IMPROVED” President? Now with a tiny drop of Retsin?
Ok, maybe not the Retsin.
@ sewmouse: Retsin – ha!
I saw that shot of John Cusak on the TV and immediately thought of you. That made me smile.
Oh, Bossy! Jealously looks so ugly on you.
He’s slummin’. Move on. You can do so much better.
Seriously.
Was going to say that Bossy has much better hair than woman in the photo but … what’s that? … we don’t KNOW WHAT BOSSY’S HAIR LOOKS LIKE THESE DAYS. And yes, I’m shouting.
So no support for Bossy until she breaks down and does the Big Reveal. John Schmon, let’s see Bossylocks.
She looks like a relative of Helen Hunt.
It’s obvious from his expression though that he’s repulsed by her.
C’mon all you publicists and PR folks in Cusack’s camp. Can’t you see that this girl needs some face time with her husband. They need to *talk*! I’m thinking he really should ring her bell (Well, I mean, we all know he actually *does* ring her bell, but of course I meant her doorbell) one of these days — maybe with a big bunch of flowers in hand…and a nice bottle of wine. Preferably before her *other* husband comes home from that eyeglass store where, for all we know, (speaking of overdue reveals!) he’s still trying to pick out a pair of frames. You’d invite him in, wouldn’t ya, Boss?
Poor John! The cold must have frozen his mind and he had amnesia! Yes, that’s it. He forgot that he was supposed to say “Hi Bossy!” when the camera’s were on him and push “Miss Perfect Hair” over the barracades.
Men, they forget the simplest things.
With bangs like that, she’s clearly a radio contest winner. Just one of John’s many public duties, to keep the fans entertained. Nothing to worry about Bossy.
not.perfect.hair.
that raging harlot does not have a hot stylist boyfriend like Bossy, and that is completely obvious.
she was really just about to walk past Boyfriend John when the paparazzi hit. of this i am entirely sure.
She looks like Helen Hunt, but younger and with more hair. So that must mean it is the actress Leelee Sobieski or whoever-the-hell-that-young- version-of-Helen-Hunt is. In any event, clearly they are just rehearsing for a film together.
She’s totally lez. I’m sure of it. It’s not just the mullet; she trips my gadar big time. I might have tried to pick her up in Springfield about 6 years ago after her field hockey match, but I’m not completely confident about my memory from that time period. Probably his agent or his strategist who is helping him prepare for a Senate run. Are you sure you want to be a statesman’s wife?
I am pretty sure its his lesser known sister Joanna. If not, clearly she means nothing to him and the only reason he even went to the inauguration is because he was hoping to see you.
She is his ass-istant.
Normally, I’d be slightly upset about someone claiming that John is their one and only…however, I think we need to team up Bossy and remove the girl-trying-to-be-helen-hunt-and-failing from John’s sights.
I also just went on a date with James Blake…so I’m a little more in a giving mood.
We could take her, Bossy.
Bossy, that must be John’s sister. I think he wanted to share this important day with his mom but she could not make it. Yeah, it must be his sister.
There has been no mention of JC in a good while. I thought maybe you had gotten over him and all, but I see not. I agree with the person above that she is probably his other sister.
And like a couple of others…your parents had FBI files??
But do they have rap sheet a mile long? Because that would be cool to say, too.
I always knew John was up to something. You turn your back for one minute…
Need to hear more about the FBI files…
Johnny looks pretty cold in that last shot. And, that ain’t his girlfriend. And her hair sucks.
now….where’s the Barbie montage about your parent’s and their alleged FBI involvement?
Yeah, an FBI Barbie montage!! Do that!
Don’t worry Bossy—her hair is NOT perfect. It’s fugly.
Oh wow, I’m definitely in the wrong place. I was going to say “why can’t I get my bangs to do that?”
Dear Bossy,
I’m somewhat new to your blog and had no idea that you were suffering from the delusion that you and MY husband are married.
Sure we’ve had our setbacks–I’ve forgiven him for Clare Forlani and…gack…Neve Campbell (it burns! it burns!), but we are stronger than ever.
Just because you are funny, and have enviable curls, and can wear hats that could never be squeezed atop my giant cranium does not mean you can bust in between me and mah mans. Oh hells no.
I say we join forces against this InauguTramp. She looks real, and down to earth–and despite her bangs and bunny teeth is pretty much a cutie. Obviously, she must be stopped.
Love,
Meredith
Straight hair? As if. Ho hum.
sorry bossy, but she does have better hair.
He was totally thinking of Bossy the entire time. I can tell.
I think she is merely a stand-in. John did not want Bossy to stand out in that cold. He wants Bossy to be comfy.
Oooh, COOL! Your parents have FBI files? I AM SO IMPRESSED. Whatever did they DO?!! I could tell you were a rabblerouser from a long line of rabblerousers, Bossy…
And I wouldn’t worry about the hussy clutching the VIP pass (who reminds me oddly of Lisa Presley, Helen Hunt and Christine Evert [sic?] the tennis player, all at the same time, but that’s NOT Leelee Soblieski, who has a serious case of the sevenhead.) She so obviously is terribly impressed with herself. Oooh! I’m standing next to him! Oooh! But he’s all, like, Mehhh. See it? There is a LOT of Mehhh there.
How horrible to find out that John has been cheating via television. Isn’t that just like that harlot to show up all perfect like. She’s got some nerve.
Check out John’s body language in this photo – zoom in and he and That Girl are in the upper left hand of the picture – he is totally not interested in her. Legs crossed away, no contact at all…
I agree that she is probably his publicist or something…
http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2009/01/20/us/politics/2009-inauguration-zoom-photo.html
If John is the straight hair type–and it looks like he is–sorry, Bossy, but that would be me.
FBI files, eh? From protesting, I’m guessing?
Do you see that red thing poking out of JC’s pocket? A red rose. He brought it for you, and you weren’t there. His expression sez: Bossy, my one true love. Where did I go wrong? That girl’s his therapist.
You have to ask yourself why he would go to a historical event so memorable with someone he appears to not especially like, and the word that came to mind was obligation-which usually means relative. Perhaps someone else was supposed to go with him, and they had to cancel at last minute. The twelve dollar haircut that some talented hairdresser tried to make presentable is the oddest thing. Never try to save money on a haircut, ladies.
I think it’s a stone in our shoe. Staged to confuse us completely.
@Ms. Cranky Pants: “With bangs like that, she’s clearly a radio contest winner. ” Truer words were never spoken.
Her hair is retched, her lips are too thin, and I don’t agree with her choice in sunglasses OR earrings. So there.
I’ve had a crush on him since the Journey of Natty Gan.
OMG…Love the video. Very very good job.
Coco
Bossy, that may be his sister, or it’s his *COUGH* personal assistant *COUGH* ‘Yvonne’. She is number one on his MySpace Friend’s list, (why isn’t Bossy there?) and have been photographed together at special events.